Morons: Attack Squirrel

Thursday, February 16th

00:05:27

Today on Morons in the news:

Watch out for the attack squirrel.
Pay for your half of the date.
Moron gives himself a hot foot.
Bigfoot likes to play in the snow.

Transcription

It's our news. Okay and I have a couple of really unusual stories here this morning new guy in Boise Idaho whose name is Adam pearl. Came home on Tuesday and realize somebody had broken into his house. There were footprints in the snow outside and a Bush's scratch marks around a lot on his gun safe. So he knew someone has been there the guy who broke in didn't get the safe open though it only took a few things from the house. He could have stolen more so it was kind of reared. Of one of the cops figured out why they caught him a few hours later. He noticed. This guy had a bunch of tiny scratches on his heels they figured out where the guy was I don't know how. But when they brought him in the lead looked in his hands there tiny scratches. It turns out he was attacked. By Adam's kids school world show. You talk show we disallowed two free Ranariddh and honest hours. I'm just glad she's on about how. So Joey said under this dude comes in the Joey does not recognize the and he attacks him while he's looking stuff thoroughly attacks squirrel. There is no word on charges he would enjoy I had and ended up getting most of his stuff back I feel sorry for this burglar because he's going into the prison. And the other guys you say how did you get caught. Yes squirrels. You're taken down but George the squirrel. And he's nickname will be comes squirrel world jail again this film made big time you'll save conflict. Squirrel could later on tonight I might hide your not. A problem and nothing. And squirrel to try pitching well Clinton's mom Mario. A real sense that I'm. How do we had joked about prison cell. We are yeah yeah. You did you know you'll get a deal feel presidents' day is coming up. Where we celebrate the president. Guard number Flemmi in the next week. We do the next win here but listen to this girl. 38 year old woman named Lucy Brown from London medical guy and plenty of fish last week and they went on a date to a bar and but when he contacted her about a second day she says she was not interested. And so the guy sent her a long text message asking her to pay him 53 dollars for her half of the day he said via text quote. Really like Q and I saved up some money to take you I don't know a nice day. As it didn't work out I'd be grateful if you could at least send along something to contribute to the drinks and spent time do you. So at least you don't have something well we all I am not. Lucy. Send him the money. But she also donated the exact same amount to a donkey cinch essentially it's actuary. Which apparently exists. They'd they take care of donkeys and she said I did this because he is a jackass. Let's go to Australia people the police need your help friends. Stay on every lease closed circuit security footage that shows two people. Behind I'd like a strip it. Mall pave it's it's 3:20 in the morning on Monday of this week. And on the video you can watch one of the guys. Pouring something alongside the building. Gas kerosene something flammable no. And many ignites it can and there's this explosion that temporarily blinds the Camry you know that happened to guess Leo flash. And then when the camera comes back into focus. The suspect is seen running from the blaze at the end zone feed on fire. It's your feet. Yes has this Australian police say hopelessly low key visit illegally arsonist to live his own foot on her head still I can find hopelessly out. OB a NV SA TR I don't it's like she got to gasoline is still from act to me it's just lowering Wiley Coyote. Any quick stop tougher rules don't run away with your foot on IR unknown. I'm Elisa and western news broadcaster Massachusetts we can probably get video for this team tied it at Bobby cherry dot com WW LP twenty huge news. Meteorologist Jennifer Connelly who's reporting on that we can snowstorm and and hammering the northeast right. And suddenly a man dressed as hot fast watched. Began sprinting through the background in the snow issues outside the dead meteorologists didn't immediately noticed the Mandel when she saw and she started laughing. Because he's wearing costumes it's made up entirely of marijuana leaves. And hot snacks watch throughout the broadcast he ducked behind bushes and. The ship but I do best series got. Massachusetts is a different sort of place all right that was great. My last day on the air we brutalize or you manage me. Going to be you know what I want remembered this way I went out beautifully styled warrior you go. It's exactly right.