Morons... Crack in the ICU

Monday, July 17th

Crack is wack! Please don't do it...


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

And it was I have a kind of special morons in the news worse today and I lose in honor of my friends while we were together last week. I made a joke about how a Florida man says and he usually what's fact and I had to explain that a Florida man. Is that Twitter account. That makes fun of the fact that so many morons in the news stories begin with the phrase. Lurid in the hands of god I. Right and let's for those who view listening in Florida this is not a don't put in the sunshine state it's just that so many Yahoo!'s from other parts of the country. Hear about Florida and they moved there and or big. Relocate for awhile there visiting and they do crazy things because it's nice and warm it's a happy place right hello I'm gonna tell you that down. Two Florida man is according to a writer Neil Patrick George. Florida man is America's worst superhero. Whoever this Florida managed he's clearly the shame and unstoppable. You feel you don't paint has no ethics and is capable of each car Leon out of the normal American man. It almost sounds like a Florida man is a superhero yeah. Just a really really terrible superhero. I've found a website that collected some of the greatest. Headlines from actual newspapers and web sites that begin with the words. The slower demand. Here we guy you'll be surprised at how many there are the first job. Florida man attempts to smoke crack in the icu. Almost burns down costs cool. The Florida man was on oxygen and he's trying to smoke crack from a homemade pipe. Chris do you police lieutenant Donald fountain said. This potential was there for a lot of damage. They could have been a lot worse team you know that's that's incredible but when you said that's all I can see you as I was walking to visit a friend and hospital a few years ago. And there was a guy outside we have a gallon. Holding. Tonight she's. I'm one of those IDs you haven't smoke and smoking right outside the hospital that tell strong polish. Our next one. Men flashes and whatnot that I hopping after impersonating a police officers to get free food. That Florida man was 55 year old Max Jeddah the walked into VI Hopkins Saddam not a cop I get free. And many threatened to beat up PI top server and then he shouted hey buddy drop just yeah. You I'm guessing you wasn't dressed like a policeman who you know. That's why they IA officer in question though next stop a Florida man quite shocked neighbors here because we're given a cigarette. Here we Harwood that's such bad that you just smoking you can. Lord John nod demand is here was bad not said how am getting a restraining order while the women's. A Florida man claims why is kidnapped by holograms. To. He's Murray ordered the police were able to locate the wife at a nearby mobile home hanging out with her husband's aunt and. I don't know what to save them. Neither does the next up on I'm sure Florida man a chance to ride is like your Taco Bell drive through its fight with beliefs. It's one of those things that I'd like to be here in the virtue lies deceit. No matter if it's gonna go down I kind electricity that I was looking at that particular Florida man's mug shot. It's easy in his orange jump shoot and he has great yellow blue hair he's making a sensation and function and looks like he's gonna cry yeah he's very studied in his talk about it. Man inches closer one way trips to Mars could. Here's how that went up 42 year old self employed camp demand made it past the first hurdle in a selection process that she's the first team to attempt. It's a plan colonization of Mars. Can't demand said my heart city you know I wanna be a part of it. His wife says the shipping goes on he said that's not my style of the blocks somebody's dream. A Florida man always marries that I was going to say he's on the right OK okay. Florida man holds a Domino's delivery man over pizza and wings held a lot of gunpoint now he's in prison. Because there weren't enough for us there was before us in one page where you wanted to. A Florida man escapes adult novelty store with a 300 dollar Jenna Jamison doll Intel's move. This agenda Jamison extreme dollar battery powered model in the likeness of the 39 year old adult film star. It comes with an exquisite life plague removable collection of parts. Man steal stuff. 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret. Nobody saw all the dude I do you do that perhaps. Grab two pairs of underwear I guess the floor now because of the price you guys. The floor and Amanda asked the judge if he could speak in his own defense the judge said yes yes. Mr. Espinosa said your honor I have no money I've lived in South Florida my whole life. The judge sends thank you yeah that you can never come back to you sure you secret. That was his. Attempts and had added defense yes. Man attacks nephew over under cooked noodles. Florida man admitted during questioning that he had been drinking and that alcohol can affect his misdemeanor you know I'd let him go I hate really over for plus the he was doing and he complained there was undercooked repeatedly that I was rendered out and Alex Chilton. Florida man arrested for smoking pot in the hospital maternity ward that in the Jupiter man David bass didn't said he was quote just chill and I. Girlfriend yeah admitted. Once you do realize this man is going to be raising children. I did a good finish your kitchen thinking hey. I'm just showed me just check. Florida manager actually ice cream vendor who would not chicken twenty dollar bill in exchange for pickled sausage it's in part because they don't show pickled sausage this current conflict. Got time for one more quick one and yeah man arrested after urinating on any laws carpet during Thanksgiving gathering. The reason given its Thanksgiving and its family. So glad you were able to get that one man.